Speaking Is Hard... Until It's Not

In May, 2022, I gave my first lightning talk at RailsConf in Portland, Oregon. I'm not sure I've ever been so nervous. I was physically shaking. My voice kept cracking. And, even though I knew the material up one side and down the other, I panicked when I couldn't see my speaker's notes. Here's how that went...

Even within this talk itself, you can hear my voice settle down as I kept speaking. That's not to say that I wasn't still nervous. You can see me lose my place a couple of times – no thanks to the A/V department. But by the end, I definitely got better at it.

Fast forward two and a half years to October, 2024, and watch my lightning talk at Boulder, Colorado's Rocky Mountain Ruby... (This is a video of all the lightning talks queued up to mine. Feel free to watch the rest, if you'd like. It was a great conference! But, please come back to read my lessons learned!)

Here, you can see what two and a half years of practice can do for you. In that time, I've spoken at every conference I could. I've attended nine. I spoke in one form or another at 8 of them, including Tropical.rb in São Paulo, Brazil!

Here's what I've learned in that time:

• Getting up in front of people and sharing your thoughts, not knowing how the audience will respond, is an incredibly vulnerable act that requires a ton of courage. Turns out, I have a well of courage I didn't know I had.
• Speaking is easier with a co-speaker. My friend Fito von Zastrow and I often speak together. And, from the very first time we did that, I was at ease on stage. I'm not sure I would have continued speaking publicly had it not been for our partnership. I am that much more at ease with Fito on stage beside me!
• There's no substitute for rehearsal. I rehearsed that first talk maybe a dozen times. So, I knew it well enough to stumble through without my notes. But, I rehearsed that second talk probably three times as much. (I almost didn't need my notes!) And, it showed. My voice inflections were intentional. And, you can only do that by reading it multiple different ways, then practicing the one you want to keep.
• There's also no substitute for time on stage. For me, there's a rush of adrenaline and cortisol – the anxiety producing hormone – when they call my name to go up on stage. The more times I do it, the more adrenaline and less cortisol I feel, making it more and more exciting to jump out of my chair and take the stage.
• And finally, there is nothing like applause! It's validating. It's rewarding. And it's completely addicting. After hearing it, you'll be hooked!
• Oh, wait. Actually, there is one other thing like applause – laughter. If you can make an audience laugh, you know they're with you. You know they're hanging on your words. And, you know there will be applause.

Just in case you don't believe me about it being easier to work with a friend, here are our first and most recent talks together. It's the same presentation (though improved over time). First, notice how comfortable we are together in the first video. That was literally the very next time I got on stage after that first lightning talk above. Second, notice how much more comfortable we are in the second video. That's the fourth time we've given that talk publicly. And, you can tell. Much more riffing off script. Much more relaxed delivery. And, frankly, much more fun to deliver! Enjoy...

One last thing... If you're at all interested in hearing me or Fito speak, or you'd like to hear us speak together, either in person, remotely, or even on a podcast, please reach out. Here's more information about the kinds of things we like to talk about, with links to all of our available online content. The easiest place to find us is Bluesky. We can be reached here and here.